Loss has a way of shaking us to our core, leaving us questioning who we are and where we go from here. If you're in the midst of grief, feeling like the ground beneath you has crumbled, know that you are not alone. In Episode 5 of Rise Up & Radiate, I had the honor of sitting down with Michele Pass, who vulnerably shares her journey of loss, healing, and rediscovering herself in the midst of brokenness.
Michele wrote this powerful reflection for those who are in the early days of grief or walking through a season of loss, offering hope and truth for the road ahead. If you are feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or even lost in the pain, I pray that her words will meet you where you are and remind you that this is not where your story ends. The Lord is near, and He is not wasting your pain.
Beloved one, you were made to shine—even through this. Take a deep breath, lean in, and let these words speak to your heart...
If you are in a season of loss, it is probably the last place you want to be. When my marriage ended, I wasn’t just grappling with the loss of my husband but was wrestling with my own distorted identity. I was overtaken with pain and confusion and felt so unsure of everything, including who I was.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
If this is where you are finding yourself now, as painful and as terrifying as it is, this is right where you need to be. But it is not where you will stay. Our culture doesn’t often embrace discomfort of any kind. We like quick fixes and things that make us feel good. But true healing comes after grieving. There is a lost art of lament, of pouring out our heart to the Lord sorrow. There is an honesty with being in our brokenness and not trying to cover anything up or numb the waves of emotions that we fear will overtake us. It is where Jesus meets us. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Psalm 145:18 (ESV)We don’t have to have it all together to come to the Lord. We don’t have to act like we aren’t fearful of what is next. We don’t have to know the next step. All He asks is that we honestly call out to Him. And He will answer us.
When we allow ourselves to sit in the pain with the Lord, there is something profound that happens. Little by little he deconstructs our faulty belief systems and reveals the lies that we have believed about ourselves, about Him, and about others. He gives us the strength to take responsibility for what is ours to own and to extend grace and forgiveness to those who may have hurt us. Without Jesus, this is not possible. But with Jesus, this is the launching pad for transformational healing to begin to take place.
Lord, let not my pain be wasted.
In seasons of pain and loss, this is my prayer. “Lord, let not my pain be wasted.” Will you pray it to? It can be silent or with hot tears streaming down your face. But in those tears is surrender. “Not my will but yours, Lord.”
As we commit ourselves to seeking the Lord, not just to alleviate our torment, but to get to know Him, something amazing happens. As our knowledge of who God is grows, our trust in Him grows. The more we begin to trust and know Him, the more the mirror becomes clear that we look in to see our own reflection. The lies that we have believed about ourselves begin to bewiped away. The guilt and shame that has muddied the mirror is washed clean. A new vision becomes visible. The daughter of the Most High King that he created you to be begins to be seen. And he has a purpose for you.
As we continue in seeking Him, in His time, you may notice parts of yourself coming back to life. Those passions and interests that you have long forgot about may slowly begin to resurface. Step into these areas as the Lord leads, with Him, not alone. In my journey, this looked like learning to kayak by myself and then later inviting friends into this with me. Those first experiences of stepping out of my comfort zone into something that I loved to do was something I needed to do by myself first to build courage and trust with myself and to be able to enjoy that time with just me and Jesus. As I continued healing, I felt “safe” to share these experiences with others but I didn’t “need” others to enjoy my time on the water. And in fact, having time alone where I can be still with my own thoughts and meet with the Lord has been a continued crucial part of my healing.
Finding Yourself After Loss
As my healing continued and my braveness grew, I also signed up for dance classes, joined a writing group, attended an art workshop, and traveled out of state for an adventure retreat with a group of other Christian mommas. These things were always part of who I was but they had not had oxygen for quite some time. The Lord in His graciousness was breathing new life into these areas to remind me of who I am, who He created me to be.
I don’t know what these things are for you. Maybe you don’t either. But I do believe you won’t find them by looking for them. What we need is found by first looking for God. Sister, whatever struggle you are going through right now, you are not alone. Your Father in Heaven sees you and knows you, better than you have ever known yourself. He loves you and though it may be hard to feel, His love for you has never left. Will you sit with Him? Be honest with your pain, your fears, your anger? And then leave those things with Him. Every day, 20 times a day; however many time as needed, just keep giving them to Him. And keep seeking to know Him more and He will reveal Himself to you.
While it is important to be willing to sit in discomfort alone to allow yourself space to grieve, be mindful not to isolate all together. Having a trusted counselor, a support group (I highly recommend Divorce Care if you have experienced separation or divorce) and safe friends can be pivotal when we are trying to regain our bearings. When our emotions are all over the place we may find ourselves operating in extremes. If your loss is new, the thought of a whole day alone with your pain may be unbearable or even unsafe. Ask God for the right support system that you can share with, those who will pray for you and be a comforting presence in your pain.
Friends whose faith will carry you when yours feels weak and whose lips will say the prayers that seem stuck in your own throat. But your friends cannot heal your heart. They cannot restore your hope. And if we rely on others to do what only Jesus can do we will miss out on one of the greatest gifts of all. Will you pray this with me?
Lord, let not my pain be wasted. Open my eyes, in your time, to help me to see what you want to reveal to me. Grow my desire to know you. I want to trust you but right now it feels hard. But I am reaching out my hand towards you. Your scriptures says in Psalm 147:3 that “you heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds” and right now that is me Lord. I need your healing. I don’t know who I am anymore and my ideas for what my future would look like have been shattered. But I trust that you ordain the valleys and I believe that I am not alone in this moment. You are here with me and you have not left me. Your love for me is greater than I can imagine. I trust that in your hands my pain will not be wasted. Help me to surrender all I am holding onto so tightly and entrust it to you. Help me to give you my anxiety and doubts over and over as my faith in you begins to build. I do not want to stay in the pit I am in and I believe you have more for me. As I heal, help me not to seek superficial remedies to feel better. Give me wisdom and accountability with Christian friends to strengthen me against making decisions in my pain that I will also later have to heal from. I confess the ways I have already sought comfort outside of you and I thank you for your forgiveness and grace. Grow your desires, your will, inside of me. Show me who I am in you. Restore your hope to my heart that I can trust you no matter what lies ahead. Thank you Jesus for who you are. Help me to rest in your love.
Beloved one, if you find yourself in a season of loss, know this: you are not alone, and you are not forgotten. The pain you feel is real, but it does not define you. The grief may feel overwhelming now, but healing will come—little by little, step by step.
God sees you. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He is holding you even in this. As you walk through the waves of sorrow, may you find comfort in His presence, strength in His promises, and hope in His love.
Take your time. Be gentle with yourself. And when you're ready, take one small step forward—whether it’s sitting in stillness with Him, speaking an honest prayer, or reaching out for support. Healing is not a race, and you don’t have to figure it all out today. But as you keep seeking Him, He will meet you in ways you never expected.
If this message spoke to you, I encourage you to listen to Episode 5 of The Rise Up & Radiate Podcast with Michele Pass. Her journey is a reminder that even in loss, new life is possible. And so is hope.
So more can shine their brightest,
Ivory Granger
Life Coach at Radiate Life Coaching
Podcast Host at The Rise Up and Radiate Podcast
